The Expendables 3

Morons need friends. While the second installment surpasses the first one in mutating into long action orgies that can only be interrupted by a witty line or a minor plot twist, the last foray into 80s nostalgia surprisingly does the exact same thing. It doesn't stop, it doesn't take a breath, for two hours it throws various fighting tactics at the audience, all enveloped in a disgruntled retirement subplot. Moreover, Mel Gibson's unsettling ex-Expendable works brilliantly, especially because he isn't a villain in the classic sense of the word, but a guy whose nerves are on edge (though his own nerves occasionally lightly hold him back). Thanks to Sylvester Stallone's unbreakable buddy chemistry with anyone, this team of walking bulletproof vests managed to reach such heights. Considering the zero box office revenue, it will likely remain there – and considering the maximum satisfaction and sense of closure at the end credits, I can actually live with that. (08/20/2014)

This film has the most imaginative and technically proficient action (Hughes is as spectacular as in the 1980s and at the same time crisp and clear as is appropriate thirty years later), the funniest newcomers (not the youngsters!), the most luxurious villain (yeah, Mel's to blame, but damn it, take it easy on him already, he's in his prime), and sadly, the most boringly conceived plot (it's not much more than an amusement ride and the second film sorely lacks self-deprecation). (08/08/2015)

Sly's scripted assurance that old geezers are still better than young inexperienced kids is actually enough to make me happy. I could have done without the gender emancipation element in the form of an invincible warrior in a skirt (the director should have explained to her that a perpetually scowling face would not make her a tough brawler), but on the other hand, Banderas was pleasantly delightful in his self-deprecating role delivered like a ferret on speed. The fact that the young ones lack any charisma at all is actually good, it makes the personality of the old action stars stand out all the more. And the final action-packed 20-minute set-piece finally brought it up to a very close 4*. I have to laugh at some of the criticisms here (as well as like-minded reviews on news sites) to the effect that the Expendables 3 "is all about shooting". What else did you expect from a pure action franchise scripted by a man named Sylvester Stallone? A Kantian reflection on the meaning of existence and the universe? (08/13/2014)

You bet I’m overrating it, because at last they managed to fine tune it. The first part was about nostalgia, part two just blinked by, part three is a big show about revenge, education and the team spirit, what else? The primary strength is Gibson, hungry for a proper role, he relishes every minute on screen, but he has criminally few of them. Snipes is out of jail and making himself known. He’s still got it. The king of the snappy line is definitely Banderas and his mouthy Galgo, his broken English enough to drive the audience round the bend. And what about the old gang? Still singing the same tune, they work well together, even if it’s sometimes a bit knives out. Arnold and Jet question their orientation with a smile. Anything for a laugh. And the youngsters a pretty fine too. Hughes proves himself to be the best director of the trilogy yet, despite occasional confusing action scenes, he has everything in hand and so in visual terms Expendables 3 comes out on top. The screenplay is full of holes and gigantic, in places exaggerated (the house packed with C4 and tanks), in places too restrained finale (Sly vs. Mel), but at least it’s consistent. In any case, it’s one big show that is best scene on the silver screen. - Why did they call you Doctor Death? - I was a medic. (08/15/2014)

A couple of minutes after the end, and I already don’t know what it was about. Maybe it’s because it was about nothing... :) While the second one made my heart skip a beat at the fact that an action film today can still be so genuinely entertaining and that can transfer that vigour to the viewer, the third one is a soulless, uninspired carnage that only tries to win fans by how many famous names appear in as super-stylish badass icons. The best character is hands down Banderas’s, who spices up the dull parade of B-movie action and script recycling at least for a while with much-needed, previously completely derivative humour. 45% (10/11/2015)