Godzilla vs. Kong

Kong II, king of the monsters. I could practically copy my comments from the other Godzilla reviews, with perhaps one positive amendment, that this time there was at least something to see during the fight scenes. However, you still have to spend an incredibly long time watching the inconsequential, clichéd, and absolutely intolerable characters, some of whom are on screen just to stare up at the sky and mindlessly repeating the catchy monster names. Also, I have to say that even though I was in such distress, I was still somehow waiting for the screenwriters to add another act to the storyline we have seen a million times before, which would provide at least one element of surprise. However, it was not to be, so the movie ends, and you go, "Oh, was that it?" I had to shake my head at the obvious references to 2001: A Space Odyssey, the first Star Wars movie, and I am guessing Tron, unless I did not imagine that due to the excess of neon lights. Also, throwing knowing references at the audience does not necessarily make a good movie. The only thing that lifted my spirits is that it all seems like the swan song of the series, and I sincerely hope it is. (04/02/2021)

Godzilla vs. Kong is about... whatever. It's just about getting a giant ape and a giant lizard in the same place and letting them smash each other's faces in for twenty minutes. The action is energetic, visually arresting and, thanks to the great cinematography, entertaining. Everything around it, i.e. the universe-building efforts, the old and new characters and the dialogue, is nothing but filler for the time between waiting for the next fight. Both King Kong and Godzilla are better than that. But they're really good at the action this time. (04/05/2021)

Whereas Disney had to put Winnie the Pooh in the vault in order not to irritate the great Xi Jinping, Warner Brothers found a way to not only milk one of its main bits of IP, but also to please China mightily. Kong and Godzilla thus head to Hong Kong to measure their strengths against each other. On the one hand, that means a lot of visually rewarding neon, but, mainly, this time it involves more than just the monsters slightly dishevelling some iconic landmark, as was previously the case. Rather, they literally raze the whole problematic and rebellious Hong Kong to the ground. With, of course, the exception of the Bank of China Tower, which is the dominant feature of their night-time battle, but the monsters don’t dare even to touch it – although this iconic building absolutely asked for some sort of interaction, the filmmakers used their potential on the Central Government Complex and Hopewell Centre. The studio tries to flatter the domestic audience of post-Trump America by nodding to the supposed populist subversives of the Illuminati conspiracies and canonising alternative facts around the Hollow Earth theory in order to ingratiate both groups of their contradictory interpreters (according to some, there is a habitable cavity inside the Earth, while others, based on the example of Kong’s habitat, claim that we live in the cavity and the view of the sky is an illusion). But perhaps it’s actually a well-thought-out and coherent dramaturgical concept that at the moment when the monsters aren’t beating the shit out of each other, the rest of the film is completely out of hand. As with the previous instalments of the new international kaiju franchise, I see parallels with the old films, but that doesn’t make the new one any smarter or more satisfying for viewers. Godzilla movies always somehow reflected the phenomena and social issues of the time in order to be relevant to their viewers, but at the same time, it was all much more entertaining and guileless back then. Today, clearly in parallel with our own time, everything is frantically elaborate, overloaded with absolutely useless information and über-complicated lore. Why don’t they just simply make a monster flick instead of all of those idiotic scenes with human characters who watch the kaiju even when they’re not fighting. I'd rather watch Godzilla just swimming, sleeping or knitting a pair of socks than any of those moronic scenes with human characters. But perhaps we have to be worthy of those scenes with the titans and, when it comes down to it, the fact is that it’s really worth it. (04/03/2021)

By this axe I rule! A perfect movie for kids, quoting from old Verne books. The story combines Japanese cartoons from the sixties with the screenplay for Batman v Superman (spoiler: instead of Martha there is a flashy: "I don’t give a shit…"). Both fights are a feast for the eyes. Inventive, dynamic and beautifully filmed. This calls for a movie theater. Whether it is the lights of Hong Kong or paddling in the water, the action looks like a wet dream of all (once child) monster movies fans. Damn the physics and the listless characters. You don’t go to the theater to see a movie like this because of the logic. To the movie theater. Sniff. Whiskey is a savior. I’ll have another... (04/02/2021)

After the previous entry I didn’t expect anything from this Mosterverse, but Godzilla vs. Kong turned out to be quite good fun. You have to approach it accepting the fact that it’s a fantasy spectacle about giant monsters, and forget about logic and physics. Visually, it’s top notch, the fights have substance this time, and the story… well, I wouldn’t say it was interesting – the human characters are still too insignificant for that –, but there were a couple of surprises not included in the trailers. It’s a shame about that line with the black conspirator and the two teenagers, I would discard it and sort if differently. (03/31/2021)