Planet Terror

While the dialogue was Tarantino’s Achilles heel, in Rodriguez’s case, it is the story. Despite these failings, both of the Grindhouse movies provide some delicious entertainment, and Planet Terror is an absolute king of the trash genre. On the “Troma scare”, I’d give it five out of five; on a normal scale, it gets three stars. (08/24/2007)

Filmed with love, humor, irony, detachment, and above all, joy. With every other shot, I had the image of an enthusiastic Rodriguez bouncing around behind the camera and looking forward to the next take. However, it occurred to me too often that the times when Robert was able to restrain his ideas and give them a form that didn't require me to protest against overcomplication and lack of taste were long gone. Yes, you can enjoy Planet Terror without necessarily liking it. It flies by, Bruce Willis occasionally takes a breather, Naveen Andrews delivers a great performance, and Freddy Rodriguez shoots so much that it will make your head spin. Add to that perfect scenes like "the most badass character in the whole movie riding a children's motorcycle," and you'll find that the plot just doesn't stop. But it's a splatter film. And with that comes blood, slime, corpses, blisters, more slime, repulsiveness, twistedness, and an extra dose of slime on top of that. And that manages to bring down the entertaining ride to the level of a slightly below-average (albeit perfectly fast-paced) snack. 55% (02/11/2008)

Maybe crazier and more disgusting than the first part, and that's saying something. It is clear what this piece wants to say, so it is basically impossible to describe its qualities, as it is a patchwork of bad movies. But the resulting product is even weirder, bolder, and more interesting, there are no limits or barriers here. Are you a fan? Great, you will have a good time. You aren’t? You will turn it off after five minutes. More likely after ten, because Fergie in white is worth seeing. (07/18/2008)

First of all, I am not a fan of the genre and secondly, if Rodriguez had made a really good film, the first part of the sentence would have been unnecessary. I am not a fan of westerns either, but films like Dances with Wolves or Dead Man managed to captivate me. However, Rodriguez did not succeed in any way with his foray into splatterpunk waters. I very much dislike categorizing genres as noble and inferior, as it almost always reeks of snobbery and small-mindedness. Splatterpunk is perhaps the only subgenre that can be classified as trashy from the principle alone without batting an eye. This is because it resigns itself to traditional aesthetic values and is even proud of it. To make a quality parody of a genre, it is, of course, possible, but certain conditions must be met: 1. I must have a thorough knowledge of what I am poking fun at, 2. I should like the genre, 3. I must have distance and perspective on the relevant material, 4. I am very familiar with the craft, and 5. I am highly creative. Spielberg's series of films about Indiana Jones can serve as an example of this, as well as others. In all of these cases, the screenwriters and directors took the dumbest elements that existed in the given productions and managed to transform them into something extremely clever, entertaining, and even artistically valuable. These films entertain everyone without exception, even those who would rarely come across trashy source material by mistake. Planet Terror will amuse genre fans primarily and then those who are fascinated by their first encounter with the splatterpunk style. Rodriguez only fulfills conditions number 1, 2, and 4, clearly lacks distance, and is not creative enough. I don't doubt that he has seen a lot in this field and that he wanted to faithfully imitate the twisted atmosphere of his favorite films. But that alone is not enough for a quality parody. Just like a series of jokes of varying quality is not enough. The average viewer will not appreciate Tarantino's presence or references to certain genre "gems." The film has dead spots and is full of idiotic dialogues (because in a clever parody, they should only look idiotic, there should be a "second line" behind them - perhaps the only moment when Rodriguez came close to that was Willis's outburst in the warehouse). The director fails to evoke and maintain tension, and so on. All in all, it is often just as stupid as what the author wanted to parody. I smiled three times, the wooden leg amused me and it was a joy to look at the beautiful shapes of the girls, led by Rose McGowan. But overall, it that is far too little for a good film. Overall impression: 35%. (08/27/2009)

Unbelievable as it may seem, Rodriguez's cinematic knowledge trumps even Tarantino's, and his Planet Terror is an absolutely perfect concentration of genre deviations, quirks, and flaws. The only person who can search for a more meaningful plot is someone who abhors the trash aesthetic or has never tried it on his own spectator senses. This is the most daring film of the year, which piles one idea after another, culminating in Rose McGowan, whom I hereby dub the hottest tigress of this film season, and Rodriguez the bravest freak who is bothered by absolutely nothing (the deaths of animals or children). I want Machete immediately, or Grindhouse II! (10/21/2007)