The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

David Slade! A clear win and a big problem that this "emo-vampire" series has encountered. It's not a problem to spot the numerous scenes where Slade makes fun of the entire saga. Especially the cockfight over one ordinary girl is done with a detachment that even a serious parody could withstand. Then comes the perfectly "staged" action and the plus points climb high above the average. Yet when you realize that it takes up about 10% of the runtime, you are swept away by the most tragic love mating call in years. Especially in the last film, thanks to Weitz's ineptitude, you could giggle all the way through. Here, Slade’s attempt to make it serious goes severely wrong, making it all mostly an awkward and sad cramp as you sense the director being shackled by the script (or the book) and you suffer along with him. It also obviously didn't entice the fifteen people around me, as I heard an absolute minimum of amorous giggles and excited comments in the crowded movie theater. But I admit that I naively believed in it until the last moment. 2 ½. [this is the best - though at the same time the most boring - film in the series. You'll understand when you watch it in the movie theater]. (06/30/2010)

Content (?) identical (and I suppose we could say that, as far as possible under the limited circumstances, the tension is rising), but this is probably the best Twilight format so far. Slade manages to smuggle some action and even a little atmosphere into the movie (here and there) making this saga considerably more bearable. Maybe it’s a shame that he wasted his talent on something like this, but at least he earned some money and the studio may be willing to release more cash for a future project of his. Everybody will be happy. I’m warmer than you. (11/20/2010)

Another unnecessary episode that deals with the same old thing: the same naive and stupid romance, exploiting the current stupidity and silly trend of stupid people. Rather, it's more about immaturity, and there’s plenty of it. And yet, if the series was taken seriously even for a moment, it wouldn't be so bad. Visually, it is a very attractive thing; thematically, however, it's a complete mess. Unfortunately, the “new age romance style” has to be there, even if the devil rides a werewolf and then everything goes downhill. (01/13/2013)

The first film had a scene in the woods and a baseball game, the second Italian porn, and the third... has a blooming meadow and the story of Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The recasting of Bryce Dallas Howard's is just one of many oddities, like the fact that Kristen Stewart still doesn't look much older than she did in Panic Room. I mean, wow. However, the lines heard about Bella having to be home by four, graduating from English studies, and Edward asking her if she will get out of the car if he asks her to...? Uh....what? "I kissed Bella. And she broke her hand." "Eau de wolf coming up." "Oh, my God. Dad. I'm a virgin." "I Am Hotter Than You!" "If we weren't natural enemies, I might actually like you."!!! (11/08/2011)

A great candidate for the trash! :-)) I read the book in one breath, once, a while ago, and I know I can't read it again because I'm just not brave enough. I've seen the movie and my mind was running with phrases like "wind-up toys", "boring", "Hey, that was pretty interesting, too bad the next scene killed it", "I know those actors can act in there somewhere", "I wonder how much makeup that used up?", "Weren't the wolves prettier in the second one?" etc... I managed to get a hundred things done, I spent two days watching it, I could never have watched it in one go, I think I’d have to retire to warmer climates for my nerves. The dialogue is stupid, the way the actors say it makes it sound even stupider – it was good in a book, but as soon as someone says it out loud, you either blow your brains out or rupture your diaphragm. Bella has exactly the kind of qualities I can't stand, so I was praying the movie would change the script and kill her off – and of course that can't happen. They could also have killed Edward so he could die a virgin – it would have been such a perfectly tragic ending, ah well... A girl offers herself to you and you don't go for it? I understand you can control your hunger, but your sexual desire? Amen. But there's no point in discussing it, he's going to do it to her in the next installment anyway... :-D And unfortunately, it's not helped by the fact that I've come to loathe their brown contact lenses. Why the hell can't they finally, someday, bang something better out of this? Mission: Impossible (so I guess I'll call Tom... :-D). Btw: did you notice how, in the scene where the bad vampires come out of the water, it looks more like a zombie clan? ^^ (07/09/2010)