Baywatch

It really is THAT bad, which is a pity. If it turned out to be a toilet-humor comedy, as was suggested by the ludicrous stuck d*ck scene at the beginning, it could have been fun. But nothing works here, and given the two-hour runtime (and its creators’ increasing inability to keep at least one aspect of the movie together), you’ll suffer through it. Not even the cameos of David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson are used in any creative or funny way. And that’s just a few seconds of this thing! (06/18/2017)

When I was a kid, I watched the Baywatch quite a lot. That’s also the reason why I was so curious about the Rock’s and Zac Efron’s performances in the remake. In the end, I must say I’m quite disappointed. The comedy isn’t innovative, it’s not explicit, it’s really not anything in particular. It has its moments, but overall, it’s more stupid than it is funny. Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff even make an appearance, but they are so utterly uninteresting that they basically copy the movie’s overall vibe. It was bad. And that’s quite a shame. (08/27/2017)

Testosterone and silicone packed and a pointlessly long showcase of boorish humour worthy only of the popular four letter swear word. I saw (or wished to see) great potential in it, but instead of the creators casually poking fun at the show's naive stupidity and showering us with catchphrases and cameos for an hour and a half, they oscillate for two hours on the surface of a dull detective plot and the most cringeworthy buddy comedy ever to hit theatres. If Johnson had been alive in the 1950s, he would have played at most the second henchman to the bad guy in an Ed Wood movie; today, his iconisation subordinates the entire narrative of a presumed hit that could have had such an all-encompassing parodic feel. Ironically, it's his few scenes with the heartthrob Efron that keep it afloat, at least on the level of episodic humour. This has failed miserably, with only the physical equipment of Alexandra Daddario asking for a much better hit – inaccessible of course. 40% (11/13/2017)

A pleasant surprise. I didn't expect much from Baywatch, but I had a great time. Zac Efron and The Rock are a great duo, plus the amazing Alexandra Daddario and a bunch of other ladies you could watch from morning till night. There are plenty of jokes and the vast majority of them are hilarious, I loved the many allusions to the cinematic universe. The story is of course ordinary and the action scenes quite bland, but luckily that wasn't the point here, I mean, other than nice boobs, lots of humour and movie references I wasn't expecting much, and that's what I got. I am satisfied.75% (08/20/2017)

Sure, it's a terrible piece of crap, but I got exactly what I expected from this movie. It's sometimes ridiculously silly, sometimes ridiculously cool; there are great actors whom I like, beautiful women who made my jaw drop; there's the ability to make fun of oneself and the original series, and damn it, there's even Hasselhoff and Pamela. That's all I needed. (08/22/2017)