Battleship

Nothing new, nothing original, only a demolition and popcorn classic in the best sense of the word. Battleship has everything a modern action movie should have, and a little bit extra thanks to the presence of pop queen Rihanna, who looks just as good in a military uniform as she does in a tight outfit. Just turn off your brain and the fun will be taken care of... 70% (01/01/2013)

Totally unnecessary (and they should all apologize to Cowboys & Aliens). I don't think we've ever been invaded by bigger alien idiots in film history, because I didn't shake my head as much during those as I did during this film, not even during the recent Battle Los Angeles. From my perspective, Battleship is not a film that pokes fun at the style of Michael Bay (and others), it's not even stupid enough to be funny, it's just another silly spectacle that doesn't even deserve ILM's top special effects (for which I give it a star). I had to wait an hour and a half for the only sympathetically over-the-top scene (yes, the veterans boarding and the Missouri setting sail really had something going for it), and the wait wasn't great. So a star and a half.__P.S. The completely unsympathetic actors are dominated by the singer Rihanna, whom I don't know, but she gives me the impression that the casting discovered her somewhere in a tree and persuaded her to participate in the filming with a basket full of bananas.__P.P.S. My previous comment of course does not apply to Liam Neeson. (09/09/2012)

A dumb, but extremely entertaining movie where old technology is bulldozed by new and the “Art of War" gains a completely new dimension. Berg signed up to film this absolute shitstain of a screenplay with a few millions paperclipped to it, when the only potential lies in the name of this age-old game, these days played only by snobs who have grown bored of playing tic-tac-toe during lessons at school. But who wouldn’t like to play soldiers for the studio’s money. The directing maybe isn’t as opulent as Bay’s, but it’s easier to follow and the overall tempo of the movie isn’t so breakneck. The story: After a superb start, John Carter gets his hair cut and joins the navy due to a beautiful blonde, to become a better person, to serve on a battleship. Then some aliens from the plant G. arrive on Earth. He fights them. The number of casualties is abundant. Kitsch handled his role well, Brooklyn Decker is here just to liven things up a little. Daddy-o Liam Neeson is cool, but makes too darn few appearances. But if you were pleased that Rhianna had died, then... erm. And those poor aliens - these guys were the kindest villains I have ever encountered. Maybe we could have become friends, if the Navy hadn’t started shooting first. But we will probably never know, even though the post-credits scene from Scotland promises a part two. When the old men got in, I nearly laughed out loud. I can’t believe this wasn’t a parody. And Jablonsky and his AC/DC! - And who’s in charge of the ship now? - Hopper. - Hopper? We’re all going to die! (04/27/2012)

If you want to see a WWII ship drift across the waves of the Pacific... I think you should go for it. It may be pretty to look at, but that's about it. The story is weak, it pushes patriotism quite a bit; it has it all – flags, the sun in the background, military pride, veterans, invalids... Just a great American movie about a military setting. There's some fighting, some friendship, some loss, some explosions. Yeah, and there are aliens, but nobody really knows what they want. I guess, like, to mine the Earth or something? Nobody knows. (06/10/2019)

Jurassic transformers. Battleship is a blockbuster with a huge budget and all the obvious flaws (clichés and idiocy) as well as the necessary pop elements: megalomaniacal action, self-irony, a young hero wooing the daughter of a captain, G.I. Rihanna, a legless black hero and retired sailors saving the world. If it had come out sometime before 2007, it would have been a hit. Today, however, these waters are ruled by Michael Bay, whose visual concept is something else – from action through sunsets to female curves. Peter Berg is visually static and unoriginal. Furthermore, Battleship isn’t helped much by the existence of equally spectacular but intelligent blockbusters like X-Men: First Class. (04/17/2012)