Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Brutal, crazy, effective and fun small-scale movie. On the other hand, it’s such a simple movie that it doesn’t really have a deeper message. The story has zero telling value and it’s all created for one single reason – to entertain the viewer – successfully so. Which is no surprise considering it has Jeremy Renner in the lead role of Hansel who has to inject himself with insulin because the Witch used to stuff him full of candy when he was a kid and now he’s lucky to still be alive. On the other side, there’s Gemma Arterton who got incredibly hot since Prince of Persia, which is thanks to latex, but also thanks to her cool lines and the overall toughness and edginess of both Hansel and Gretel. In any case, this was the perfect entertainment for 87 minutes. (06/06/2013)

Whenever I hear the names Hansel and Gretel, I immediately think of two kids with a penchant for unconventional architecture. This time, the title hinted at something bigger, and it delivered. Instead of the future sponsors of dentistry, we got a story about serial killers targeting lonely elderly women. But they weren't using methods from the times of the Brothers Grimm; no, they had an arsenal that even John Rambo or the Terminator wouldn't shy away from. For me, it was a funny, action-packed movie that charmingly juggled with human anatomy and didn't pretend to be anything else. It simply entertained viewers on the same wavelength. Clearly, I was on that wavelength for the second time, so I had a blast. Plus, I had an aesthetic experience courtesy of Gemma Arterton. / Lesson learned: If you're a witch hunter, real life might not be a walk in the park. 4*+ (02/20/2022)

More like two and a half stars. On the one hand, there will be swearing at Van Helsing and The Brothers Grimm, and on the other hand, people will marvel at this gem that is considerably less imaginative and funny. And never-mind the actors. Could it be that the cheap, bloody special effects that many people gush about helped add to the great fun I'm reading about here? Or perhaps the forced coolness of the main characters, especially the once again unprecedentedly wooden Jeremy Renner? Or the parade of awkward vulgarities? It's possible... Anyway, I did smile occasionally and the action scenes had quite good swing, but the best character of the whole film was simply Edward the troll, who topped even the lovely Gemma Arterton in second place. Peter Stormare played almost the same man in the aforementioned The Brothers Grimm, and he did it better. (06/09/2013)

The Norwegian rookie isn't afraid of big production. Throw in some good looking actors, a few gore shots and camera finesse like the thrice as expensive and much more bloated Van Helsing and off we go. 90 minutes of non-stop fun and entertainment, or Hansel and Gretel for adults and lovers of an alternative approach to the classics. Sure, it's bullshit, but the signature and commitment of the creators is very likeable. (01/28/2017)

Reminded me more of The Exorcist than Hansel and Gretel... I recommend showing it to your kids at bedtime if you have a morbid desire to change their diapers even at puberty. Otherwise, it’s an ordinary action movie that tried to have funny lines but didn't really succeed. It's a weird mishmash of all sorts of things, but it's watchable. (01/03/2014)