Jupiter Ascending

I didn't expect much, but I got more than enough. Fabulous sci-fi trash in the best sense of the word (in short, a full-fledged successor to 1980's Flash Gordon), set in an absolutely amazing world and almost constantly entertaining. Hand on heart, it's not much different from the much-vaunted Marvel movies. True, there could have been a little more perspective (crop circles and space bureaucrats with Terry Gilliam amused me immensely), but then Jupiter Ascending could also have turned into an awkward comedy, which the Wachowskis (after Speed Racer, thank God) clearly didn't intend. The action scenes are superbly engaging, the special effects are lavish, everything is nicely clear and understandable, but perhaps the most pleasing thing for me was Michael Giacchino's bombastic music and its judicious use, which makes it not really stick out from the film , but it is not simply neglected either. Four pure stars and I'll probably go to the cinema again (I'll put on Flash Gordon before that happens). (02/06/2015)

The film was visually impressive, but that's about where the positives end. The terrible script created a storyline devoid of logic, defying the laws of physics, resulting in a chaotic compilation of moving pictures. Casting Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis in the lead roles didn't help much either. It seems like the target audience might have been children under ten, who are used to gaming violence and might appreciate a story involving flying shoes. Despite the overwhelming CGI action, I'd describe the film as a boring mess. / Lesson learned: Want to be an enthusiastic toilet cleaner? Become the owner of Earth. (06/20/2022)

I was sort of hoping that the Wachowskis wouldn’t pour 200 million dollars into a black hole and so I’ve been ignoring the reviews around here before I watched the movie myself. I played it with excitement and within a few minutes, I got into a phase where I would have probably immediately turned it off if it weren’t for the beautiful space shots and effects, because the story is totally out of it. At first, the very first shootout reminded me of Star Wars, then the space scenes moved more towards Star Trek and then Channing Tatum popped onto the screen to explain that he’s a werewolf from outer space. It really couldn’t have been any dumber and I’ve never seen a more idiotic movie with such a high budget. (06/19/2015)

This is bad, bad. The story is so stupid and without ideas... Lana and Andy just played that it will all look great, which it does, but it didn't impress me. Their "Matrix" was full of thoughts, sometimes so much that one got lost in it and it didn't work the best, but in this case it's just too empty and without any good idea. Yes, there is mythology created here, but what is happening here is simply too much of nothing. And Mila Kunis has a really annoying character here. (04/23/2015)

Sometimes it's sad to see how a perfect-looking blockbuster can crumble into smaller and smaller pieces with each scene. What starts with the absurd scenes with the Russian family the script calmly continues with random scenes without no explanation of bizarre names, theories, and memories, and it absolutely triumphantly concludes with Eddie Redmayne in a perfectly annoying acting role in front of a pre-embalmed corpse that cannot produce a single comprehensible sentence. Lana and Lilly Wachowski should be glad that Channing Tatum smoothly switched to air skating, because without his aerial antics in the final fiery inferno, the rating would unquestionably drop into even more terrifying places. (02/05/2015)