Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

The production design and the effects are great, as only Bruckheimer's bottomless wallet can do, but the fifth encounter with Jack Sparrow is like meeting a drunk who tells you funny stories and you don't want to listen to him anymore because he's annoying. He just drunkenly drones on and on and on and you get tired of it :o) (09/29/2017)

I had mixed feelings after watching the fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie. On one hand it is one of the best ones in the series but on the other hand there are not as many jokes and funny scenes and mainly there is a completely useless storyline with Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley who are there probably just so we never forget about them. But in the end, I think the fifth movie of the series is better than third and fourth ones. The story is still immensely powerful. Javier Bardem and Geoffrey Rush gave a brilliant performance. Johnny Depp on the other hand yet again overacted, but he probably won’t get better. The gang of youngsters are rather unimportant to the story, but they are at least bearable. If you like the series, don’t hesitate to watch this film. There are a few brilliant unforgettable scenes. For example, the one with a guillotine, that must be everybody’s favorite. Overall, I must admit that I am happy the quality of Pirates of Caribbean is better than before. The film is not perfect, but fans will gladly forgive that. (06/06/2017)

I wasn't expecting anything, I got a very nice show, although it may not look like it at first. For the first forty-five minutes, the film tries to recycle Jack Sparrow and his jokes, which unfortunately doesn't really work. The character doesn't really surprise with much of anything anymore, and the new faces don't seem very interesting at first. But then he sails out to sea and directors Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg seem to have decided to put all the hijinks behind them and push for a much more adventurous atmosphere. And they succeed. The huge budget shows and Salazar's Revenge is a big film that paces incredibly well. At the same time, the emotions work within the adventure genre and Kaya Scodelario is very fine as the new female lead. Which is also nice considering newcomer Brenton Thwaites doesn't impress much and even Javier Bardem deserves a slightly more interesting role. Of course, for all the adventurous goofiness and pacing, you'll probably address these shortcomings after the film; there really won't be time for that during the film. A proper Bruckheimer blockbuster and the best film of the franchise after the first one. (05/24/2017)

A season of long and infinitely stupid movies. In the first half hour, there are a few candid ideas, then it's just two types of misery porn: you can watch mischievously as the screenwriters have a hard time with it and try to connect the plot so that it makes sense at least a little bit, and you can watch Depp even more mischievously, who clearly finds more of himself than he would like in the role of a bankrupt pirate feeding on self-deception. Joachim Rønning / Espen Sandberg do a solid job, but this ship leaks more than the Kon-Tiki. (09/17/2017)

A show which I never realized how much I was missing until I got it. Compared to previous sequels, there is a minimum of excessive inserts or unimportant characters, no side plots that slow down the fun, and definitely no psychedelic moments that don't fit well as part of the saga. Revenge takes the best from the previous installments, so the series once again becomes a benchmark for adventure, and possibly closes something that started fourteen long years ago. Jeff Nathanson rightfully bets his screenplay on the fates of old acquaintances, because he knows well that it is they who made Pirates of the Caribbean a beloved story. If the Pearl never sails again, a huge thanks for all the fish. If a sixth voyage is still in the works, I can't wait. (06/16/2017)

The Pirates of the Caribbean films were never clever but they were funny, entertaining, and catchy. In my opinion, with the fifth film of the series, they reached a stage of rotting where it hardly affects me anymore. The film doesn't even offend me and just evokes indifference and boredom. Perhaps I'm slightly concerned about the IQ of the target audience. If this kind of silly infantile entertainment can justify its existence and fill up cash registers, society is not heading toward a brighter future... Overall impression: 20% for the set design and special effects. (02/25/2022)

After so many times, the characters have lost some of their zest and are no longer than interesting. Barbossa is still scowling, Sparrow is still doing the same crap, and maybe only one or two scenes are really funny. And to make sure it's not just sterile grey and a variation on the same scripted tripe a hundred times over, new faces and new plot pieces are added to the puzzle. The creators have certainly made a very bold effort to move forward, and the phenomenal stunts this time are well complemented by a fast pace and very clear action. It's not nearly as pompous and bombastic as the madcap previous two episodes, but it's still, not and probably never will be as balanced and inventive as the first one was. The pirates are dead and stale stuff even if Depp was walking on his head. (06/08/2017)

It's better than the previous film, but not by much. The gratifying difference is mainly that this time the creators really tried to come up with interesting and unique ideas, but unfortunately, they forgot about the story. They almost completely forgot about it. On the one hand, there is a great guillotine scene in the fifth Pirates, which feels like it came from Gore Verbinski's mind, a fine finale on an anchor and a few irresistible black-humor scenes (being elected captain, for example). On the other hand, there is also a lot of overly simple humor (tacky double-meanings as if from contemporary domestic comedies), which is unnecessarily predictable (you always know that a joke is coming), a couple of all-too-surprising twists for which I would most like to stretch someone on the rack, and for most of the film, Jack Sparrow's “humor" is supposed to consist of him being drunk like a dog, and therefore he behaves even stranger than normally. I liked Javier Bardem's villain, the central couple not so much... Geoffrey Rush didn't get much space, but he did his best. The music was desperately inconspicuous. (05/26/2017)

I'm leaning towards 3 stars only because I expected much worse. I enjoyed Depp, who in this fictional world has definitely pissed off the whole ocean and next time he might piss off even the feisty monkey, I enjoyed the action of the first half and some really great ideas (the guillotine scene is awesome), and I enjoyed the fact that the fifth instalment of Pirates has fun at the expense of the fifth instalment of Fast and Furious, but the last fifty minutes reflect pretty much everything I hate about this kind of fantasy. With the help of a talisman and a chosen girl, we can find a more powerful talisman that can do everything that can't be done – or how to make a more boring and spastic version of Moana with a hundred times the budget. The direction is more than solid, the actors are better than good, but the script should be cursed and put on the Flying Dutchman. This franchise is thematically over, though it still manages to surprise in individual ways. 55% (05/24/2017)

Right from the start, the filmmakers threw a lot of "funny" scenes at me that I probably would have enjoyed as a school kid. They just seemed cheesy now. As usual, a new character was added to the plot for another big name. I've seen Javier Bardem in much better roles, though. This one was rather boring. I guess the problem is that this is the fifth time I've seen a variation of the same, including the latest funny-romantic-emotional couple that is very similar to the original couple that managed to bum me out at the end of the film. Plus, Moses turns out to be just a disgustingly overrated star of the ancient illusionist scene. Keeping track of how the characters are related to one another is beyond anybody’s capabilities. (11/15/2017)

It's very much a film for fans, which relies on old scenes and, of course, old characters, making you glad to see them again. And that's what it’s all about. Surprisingly, I was least happy to see Jack Sparrow, but the others were very pleasing. Javier Bardem once again perfectly nails his villain role and is memorable, and it’s a visually appealing film and a nice spectacle overall. (05/28/2017)