Transformers: Age of Extinction

In a world of thrifty ninety-minute movies, this could have been a blockbuster trying for the title of “best part of the saga", there’s certainly enough material for it. For some mysterious reason this spuriously swelled to the length of two regular feature films and so each great minute/scene/wisecrack is alternated by two to three minutes/scenes/wisecracks that are boring, irrelevant filler (at best) or brought ad absurdum to kitsch infantility in Bay’s inimitable style (at worst and unfortunately most frequently). (09/20/2014)

Relative brain loss / the fun is worse than part two and three. Something keeps getting moved from place to place under a flimsy pretext, takes a position, destroys everything within reach and travels further for another flimsy reason. The 165 minutes and the lobotomized story sometimes made it difficult for me to understand why, because it all seems so sparse, a bit like an advertisement for (mostly American) cars accompanied by pyrotechnic effects. At the end, the film plays to the Chinese audience, everyone hugs and the story returns roughly to where it was at the beginning of part one, and only the appearance of the actors and their casting changes a little. If you're able to spend two and three-quarters of an hour to see the capabilities of 3D IMAX detail, you're ok, but while Edwards recalled the magic of the perspective in Godzilla, this sounds like a fucking waste of time and money to me. For fans of the series, the good news is that Transformers can continue to run in an endless loop, because "we all have a boss" and even the highest boss has a higher boss. [40%] (06/25/2014)

Alright, Mr. Bay, here’s $210 million, and do the same thing you did in the third installment because it raked in a billion dollars. Oh, and by the way, since Shia has become a total jerk and we don't want to waste money on the rest of the crew either, choose a completely new cast of actors, said the guys at Paramount. As unbelievable as it sounds, Bay followed these instructions to the letter. It would get hard for me to remember which movie was which after a while, so Mikey didn't let me down and made a couple of changes...for the worse. The story takes place in Chicago again (miraculously rebuilt in just 4 years!), the old favorite crew has been replaced by a wishy-washy new one without the marines to help them. Jablonsky is still great, but compared to the first installment, the music isn’t as good (plus, for reasons that escape me, the creators replaced the awesome Linkin Park with Imagine Dragons, who are okay, but compared to Linkin Park a disappointment). In addition to the old Autobots and Decepticons, you get new Transformers, most of whose names you have no chance to remember. But what you expect to get out of this movie is simply mindless entertainment, which won’t allow you to use your brain for even a second, with a disgustingly exaggerated runtime. If you accept that, you are in for the biggest ride of this year full of plagiarized but visually stunning effects. PS: Never in my life have I seen a movie so jam-packed with product placement. PSS: Michael Bay should really pass it on and finally make something new. (09/20/2014)

A dumb story is again plays a front for shifting the frontiers of special effects technology. Bay finds the most wonderful corners of our planet and uses them as the backdrop for impressive battle scenes. I still don’t understand how somebody can expect more from this than a visual feast and three hours of brain death. It’s just a shame that the female supporting role (she reminds me of the girl on YouTube with socks in her bra) is the weakest of the entire series. (09/20/2014)

It’s nice to watch how the behind this film know very well what the trendiest thing of day is, because almost everything is here. The ideal measurements of 90-60-90 for the main character, always dressed and made up exactly as it should look, the best sunny landscapes we could wish for, with of course great weather, the most modern cars of the last five years zooming by, and when we happen to encounter scene indoors, we have timeless square design and noble materials. The only thing missing are the men's sexy hairstyles that have been in fashion for the past two years – the guys here still stick to classics. It's as shallow as it can be, and it's meant to make a billion dollars. All of this is okay, but it shouldn't be a 165-minute borefest about crap. Basically, it doesn't matter if it's the second, third, or fourth installment, the concept is always the same. The introduction to the characters, filler (some sort of plot), and choose one big metropolis where the final opulent showdown will take place, where half of the skyscrapers, cars, and ships will be blown up. Visually, it's robust, but not inventive or even captivating (Zack Snyder with Man of Steel is a class above). All that remains then is amazement at how it's possible to shoot so many big explosions for just 210 million dollars, and you can look forward to more installments, because it will certainly have all the trendiest stuff in in all key segments at that time. (06/28/2014)