Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

The episode for which I had an extreme weakness at one time is starting to age a bit. Obi-Wan's antics across half the galaxy still work, and when the lightsabers turn on, shivers run down my spine, but the romantic storyline is perhaps too simple. Natalie Portman's etherealness, however, makes me forget the fact that Hayden sometimes falls short of playing such a complex character as Anakin Skywalker despite his earnest efforts. (05/20/2006)

If you were expecting some significant darkening after the infantilism and overwroughtness of Episode I, well... You can wait on. That said, it's definitely better than Episode I, but the question is whether better is enough when it's still an overstuffed popcorn nonentity with the most annoying CGI character in history. (03/12/2005)

Whereas Star Wars: Episode I “only” lacked the heart of the original trilogy, Episode II is just a dramaturgically lame comic-book popcorn flick. At the same time, however, it’s jam-packed with so many great characters, bombastic action, romance and plot twists that are important to the development of the Star Wars saga that it’s impossible to be bored for even a second. The visual effects are shoddy in some places, but the best of them are stunningly good. This is not the good old heartwarming Star Wars of before, but in the context of contemporary eye-candy popcorn entertainment, it’s great. (05/20/2002)

I have never really loved the new trilogy, but if I set aside the romance from this film, it's actually a pretty good bridge to the third and best film of the new trilogy. Visually, it's captivating, and especially the planet Kamino seems absolutely enchanting to me. It's probably because of the water, rain, and constant darkness. Obi-Wan is definitely the best character of the entire trilogy. (03/22/2015)

Following the childishly naive Episode I, along comes the adolescently boorish, emo and theatrically unbalanced and ridiculously “dark and gritty” second episode. If Episode I betrayed the original trilogy by denigrating and distorting the canon, with midi-chlorians at the fore, but at least stood up as an autonomous narrative and a boisterous children’s movie, then Episode II conversely renounces not only self-containment but also internal logic in the interest of meticulously paving the way for the original trilogy. All of the characters become inanimate puppets, circling around a vain, egocentric brat. This is most frighteningly apparent in Anakin and Amidala’s relationship, which takes on not only a distinctly perverse but also repulsive form. As if by a wave of a Jedi hand, the princess loses any will of her own; her resolve and active nature seen in the first episode are replaced by unconditional submissiveness and lobotomization. At the same time, however, the slapdash screenplay gives the vain, blandly brooding asocial prick, who loudly declares his own supposed exceptionalism, every possible trophy, including the princess, and then presents an unprecedentedly repulsive projection screen for equally vain and supposedly chosen nerds. (10/11/2015)