Rambo: Last Blood

It’s not too surprising that Stallone has never been able to understand that he simply cannot replicate one of the greatest successes of his career. The name Rambo has very little significance in relation to one fictional character. Its cultural capital and iconic nature are derived solely from Rambo: First Blood Part II and its association with the waning days of the Cold War. Stallone’s tenacious effort to continue the franchise’s box-office success was still endearingly entertaining in the third instalment thanks to the camp dimension of that film. The fourth one was just tiresome and toxic with it old man’s stubbornness and toxic conservativeness. Because Stallone doesn’t have any sense of humour or self-reflection, the title of the parody flick Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping describes his career. Like Sly, unfortunately, some of his viewers still hope to at least dip a toe into the old waters. To this day, I still remember the wearying disappointment creeping through the screening room at the cinema. It’s true that the particular screening was on the day of the premiere as part of a double feature with the iconic First Blood Part II at the Aero cinema in Prague. The futile digital effects and the drawn-out ideologically focused melodrama about the need to protect the US southern border were downright off-putting  for the viewers looking forward to bombastic action, which finally came after 90 gruelling minutes with truly devastating sadistic explicitness, so the irritated audience welcomed it with a clamorous roar of relief. However, that doesn’t change the fact that all of the other sequels only diminish the legacy and significance of Rambo: First Blood Part II as a pop-culture milestone. On the other hand, that’s a good thing, because we now live in a different era and a different world. It’s just a shame that Stallone still doesn’t understand that. (09/30/2023)

The story is simple as a Justin Bieber fan, but surprisingly it does makes sense. Like the previous episodes, this is a prime Republican flick, where even the Bulgarian production background doesn't matter. And Stallone, even though he's over seventy, is still badass, he doesn't come across as over-the-top in his iconic position, and it never occurred to me while watching that he should call it a day. And many thanks for the lack of political correctness, Sly never gave a toss about that. (09/20/2019)

Rambo could actually choose between two genres. Either following in the footsteps of the first installment, it could have been a drama about war trauma or the godless action carnage of an unbreakable machine along the lines of all the other installments. Except it doesn't have a second option because of the protagonist's limitations, and it's too stupid for the first one. Because of the protagonist's limitations. Sylvester Stallone is one of Hollywood's most annoying stars. His incessant need for self-presentation, dabbling in scripting and production, grandiose declarations and the gloriola of his own supposed wise old man's modesty twisted the entirety of Rambo: Last Blood into a very agonizingly twisted corpse that is incapable of meeting even the simplest expectations of an action movie. The first twenty minutes are a celebration of honest work, in which we watch a sweaty Stallone exercise a horse, a sweaty Stallone hammer a nail, a sweaty Stallone spin some wheels, or a sweaty Stallone forge an iron bar. There are no action scenes in the film, just a bunch of shots of the protagonist hitting someone with a hammer or a knife. The final confusion, where we watch fifty people casually walking down identical corridors and randomly falling into some traps, is the most disturbing film finale of the year. Most importantly, please make this 'old-school and honest' spectacle all animated next time. Who's supposed to watch those digital flames and funny pools of blood? (12/21/2019)

The trailers didn't promise a fundamentally accomplished film, but I still believed I would get one in the cinema. Well, I didn't. The Fifth Rambo is not very good , but not because of the craftsmanship, lack of action or cheapness. Rather, it's because it's not really Rambo. It's more like Emo-Rambo. Sylvester Stallone spends an hour and a quarter trying to look like a man struggling with his inner demons and a past of violence, but appreciating that something good has finally come into his life. And it takes him a hell of a long time to turn into the Rambo we know and love (or at least I do). We don't really see any action until the last half hour and it's extremely brutal and for a while I felt like I was watching a crossover of Saw and Friday the 13th rather than Rambo, but I didn't mind. What bothered me was the hour and a quarter before that, in which they completely nonsensically devote space to new characters and try to explore the inner workings of a cinematic warrior. Regardless of the fact that there's not really much there, and we already saw the little there is in the fourth outing. If it weren't called Rambo, I'd probably be more forgiving of this whiny B movie and the wait for the finale. But as a conclusion to a classic action franchise, it's unnecessary at best. And quite sad at times. (09/18/2019)

A solid farewell to Rambo, and even though the critics are grumbling I'm almost excited. Sylvester Stallone still has it, and he's as respected as an angry bull. Story-wise the film brings nothing new and follows the revenge template, but thankfully it takes place in the unpleasant setting of Mexico, which I simply enjoy, and the ubiquitous filth is portrayed quite solidly. The biggest asset though is of course the final half hour, which takes the best of Home Alone and Saw and is literally a parade of gore scenes that will have you drooling and sweating. In the finale, Rambo: Last Blood becomes an exploitation horror film, and there hasn't been a bigger carnage since Evil Dead. I felt physically uncomfortable as I haven't in a long time when he breaks that collarbone. Those who want to find faults will find them, and those who want a great 90 minutes will enjoy the film. 85%! (09/25/2019)