Ambulance

All you have is a skeleton crew and a script pulled out of your ass. Who you gonna call? Michael Bay! Ambulance is a film that was made out of Bay's simple need above all to do something at a time when there was nothing to do, and the way the film was made in spite of that can often be so painfully seen that it comes across as a bit guerrilla. Especially during the shootout at the bank, you see crew members or security guards guarding the set in almost every other shot. At the same time, the script gives the impression that it was written on the spot, and anyone who has seen a single movie about paramedics and cops and robbers and is also fixated on realism and logic will die inside a bit here, because everything here sort of lands well on the first try and moves on without a second thought. Combined with the pacing of the film, it all feels spontaneous, like little boys playing cops and robbers in the backyard, creating subplots on the fly without thinking about their purpose to the story thus far, just so they can get back to riding and shooting. For me that's a perfectly fine way to make an action movie, and when the only director on the set who's been yelling into a megaphone enters the picture, we're in for a boogaloo, with drones and cars racing each other and all the sparkling, banging, dusting, blurring, and backlighting, where the important thing is not what exploded, but that it exploded. No one puts the camera down as much as Bay, few people today understand how much an action movie relates to the environment in which it takes place. And you all surely must be looking at it wrong, so pop open a beer, stick a smoke in the corner of your mouth, feet (in shoes) on the table, and give it another go! I want this place red by the end of the week, you hayseeds. (06/14/2022)

An unacknowledged adaptation of GTA V that rides the wave of "the good" Bay from the nineties. That is to say, it's far from overblown not only in terms of runtime, pathetic, B-movie, deliberately stupid (which is not a rule with Bay), but fun and flashy. Double shame about the superfluous final 20 minutes, otherwise satisfaction from the "turn off your brain, have a couple of beers, get the popcorn ready and tune in to your boyish self who likes to bump into Englishmen for no reason" drawer. (03/16/2022)

The characters get into a situation that started to really entertain me only in the last quarter of the film. Everything before that is trite routine, wrapped up in an attractive Bayhem form. And that’s not for everyone. Epileptics can’t help themselves. What I found most lacking in Ambulance is a more imaginative screenplay. The only way the film attempts to move the action-packed ambulance ride along in terms of plot is by gradually revealing the relationships between the characters (who knows whom from where and why). And these are in no way interesting and don’t bring anything important to the emotional drive of the film. Some emotion comes only in the final minutes, but it’s nothing more than traditional, slightly embarrassing Bay-esque sentiment. (03/30/2022)

If you want to break it down, this movie can be easily analyzed regarding any logic it may have, and a Michael Bay movie is just that, a Michael Bay movie. As a complete no-brainer, it is very entertaining with impressive stunts. Unfortunately, his tokenistic camerawork and editing techniques are really freaking overused in this movie. He should at least cut back on the coke in the future. (03/30/2022)

In Ambulance, Michael Bay may have toned down the explosions, but this is still an action-packed caper, where logic sometimes takes a back seat to an impressive atmosphere. I thought I'd seen this story somewhere before, and it was only in the database that I realised I'd once seen the Danish version. From a technical point of view, I would criticise the film for the camera shots that are sometimes too cluttered – at times it almost looked like the cameraman was high on something. Story-wise, as I mentioned, there is more than one over-the-top moment (especially during the operation of the policeman, who is almost forgotten in the last act), but that's kind of Bay's thing. In the end, the film tries to play on emotions quite blatantly, pushing the envelope disproportionately hard compared to the rest. The cast was overall fine – perhaps only the pompous Captain Monroe was annoying. All in all, it was a slightly overlong but entertaining one-off, with a decent soundtrack (at times some of the tones evoked Interstellar). (03/19/2022)