Poseidon

Poseidon could have run 130 minutes. The first 40 minutes would have traditionally been focused on the characters. But the screenplay takes a rather more popcorn approach, capsizing the ship after only ten minutes, during which it touches on each of the main characters for barely a minute in passing. We learn more, though still very little, about them continuously in the remaining 80 minutes, during the escape from the “bottom” of the ship to its “deck” – and by that point, we’re in Deep Blue Sea, but without the sharks. There is thus not much to the characters and the brief emotional tremors as they gradually die off are contrived. There is practically no story. However, I’m giving it a strong three stars for its absolutely shockingly unnerving, claustrophobic scenes. Though Poseidon is an empty and occasionally dumb movie, in technical terms it is a perfectly executed roller-coaster ride of thrills that is never boring for even a second. Still, it’s not as cool and unpredictable as Deep Blue Sea. (05/05/2006)

If the filmmakers had paid as much attention to the script as they did to the excellent technical aspects, it would have been a genre banger, but the film suffers from a short runtime. To enjoy this eternal crawling, climbing, cutting through corridors and obstacles, you need to have built some deeper emotional relationship with the characters, which the viewer is not afforded thanks to the overly hurried exposition. As a result, it's a consumerist quickie of the hamburger type, served up with a sumptuous garnish in the form of an amazing production design, and with some unintentionally ridiculous Monty Python-like dialogue. And sorry, Wolfie, Josh Lucas doesn’t have the chops to be an A-list star. (07/31/2006)

Poseidon might seem like a sure bet at first sight. The director’s name has a good ring to it, it has a solid cast and a huge budget. It could have been an outstanding popcorn remake of an undying classic. Could have been, but it isn’t. Because it’s full of ridiculous contradictions. Although paradoxically that is where it’s strength lies. Let’s start with Wolfgang Petersen. He had two near misses after Outbreak, although his movies are still a guarantee of a certain run-of-the-mill quality. On the other hand, he is usually reliable on the open sea, as he proved with Das Boot and The Perfect Storm. In Poseidon he tried to change the established pattern for disaster movies. No long shots presenting individual characters. Just a wave and on we go. And that is where it went wrong. Imagine the purest B-movie possible. One cliché after another, rapid fire. The dialogs are perfect in their own perverse way. Nothing but statements such as “We’ll make it!"/"We’re all going to die!" we tons of pathos. And these lines always come from the lips of a heroic father, btw a former fire-fighter. Or from a flashy, sycophantic, selfish beau. Or from a cute young guy or a mentoring gay old man. Simply one screenplay gem after another. It is truly entertaining and also has some impressive technical tricks up its sleeve. For instance, the scene where the ship turns turtle is very well made. Unfortunately, overall Poseidon is an unintentionally entertaining B-movie that simply flies by. So what that it entertains in a completely different way than was intended. (11/27/2007)

Solid entertainment. And everything goes so quickly that you don’t have the chance to get bored. Excellent special effects and the opening credits scene works really well, paradoxically the credits bothered me. Although for Kurt Russell this was no big comeback, but he did more than decently and surprisingly Josh Lucas didn’t bother me. It’s too bad that Peterson forgot to put more emphasis on emotions, if he had tried harder I would have given it 4. This way, also thanks to Badelt’s superb music, I give it a high 3. (01/21/2007)

Wolfgang Petersen manages to entertain the audience for an hour and a half, nothing more, nothing less, that’s the best way to describe this gigantic blockbuster. For such a short running time, the budget is enormous, although the special effects specialists truly went all out, and formally the film is practically flawless – the opening panorama of the huge ship without a single cut is magnificent. Klaus Badelt also composed his typical, again excellent adventurous music for it. The characters lack all drive and charisma, and even the initial few minutes when they are introduced are not quite right, making it difficult for the viewer to find any sympathy towards them. There are of course the unavoidable awkward clichés and pathetic scenes (some of them really deserve a slap in the face), but overall it can be endured. Something made for a proper sound system. (12/15/2006)

Essentially a disaster. I'm not too happy that Petersen made it, but I can at least take comfort in the fact that it's not (only) his fault. Mainly the screenwriters deserve to be slapped. They sent so many uninteresting characters on a journey on an overcrowded boat that it hurt. Perhaps only Kurt Russell was a bit likeable - but if so, that was because "he was Kurt Russell". Josh Lucas aka Mr. Rambo the All-Saving didn't impress me at all, nor did the rest of the survivors. I do have to praise the work of the special effects team (the capsizing of the ship is nicely and apparently realistically done, although - again - not very dramatic), the decent music by Klaus Badelt and the "You must shake him off" scene in the elevator shaft, which truly surprised me with its ruthlessness. But I would slap the screenwriters for the ending with the waiting inflatable boat... Oh, I said that already about slapping them. Well, they deserve it. The Poseidon Adventure remains, of course, unsurpassed. (08/21/2010)