Watchmen

Snyder may have huge talent, but I just don’t get why he has to build his career on copying (stealing?) other people’s work. First Romero, then Miller and now Moore. The last of then took the worst beating, because before that Snyder at least always used to put in the work of giving his “remakes" a bit of his own invention, point of view, simply something of himself (and then they make at least a bit of sense). But in this movie there is no sign of invention at all. If I had an Ikea reproduction of “The Night Watch" by Rembrandt, then I wouldn’t start singing praises about what an original and visionary artist the plagiarist is. I concede that he put a great deal of detailed work into this, and he is certainly talented, because not just any director could have succeeded in doing what he did, but the original is the original. And if Snyder had picked up a full HD camera, put on a CD with some golden oldies and s-l-o-w-l-y filmed the original comic book, it would have ended up the same. Damn it, Zack, try doing something of YOUR OWN already! Thanks in advance. The preceding reproach concerns Snyder and Snyder alone, not the Watchmen as such. As I wrote - it’s absolutely identical to the comic book which is perfect, so logically its celluloid 1:1 version must be perfect too. Well, apart from being in a way utterly pointless, because an illustration of an illustrated book is a pointless adaptation. But still perfect all the same. I seem to be going round in circles a bit. So why perfect? Because Watchmen are like the Rorschach Test. You can see boredom, the history of mankind, cool scenes, boobs, would-be cool scenes, no action scenes, penises, explicit violence, ego masturbation, cheap visuals, awesome visuals, too much footage, too little footage or an overlap long enough to build a bridge across the English Channel with. Just whatever you want. I just don’t know whether to give it a full set of stars or none at all! Both would be absolutely right. I even thought about giving it three stars, but compromise is not the solution here. Rorschach would have bitten my head off. (03/09/2009)

I was bored as hell for most of the movie, sitting around and actually waiting for a few brighter spots. The bright spots were definitely not worth it though, so I left the cinema pretty bored and annoyed. Worse, though, was that the person who talked me into seeing this "major motion picture" (major only in terms of its running time) was even angrier than I was. 2.5 stars. (06/11/2011)

What to say? I don't know. Somehow I ran out of words. Not that this movie took them away from me, but I just can't think of anything to say other than it was a clever ride on a spiral of edginess, wit, thought and pain. Even though I'm not a fan of the source material – I haven't read the comic and know nothing about it – I liked the movie. I believe there's a lot of good stuff missing. But I also believe that such a social probe among a superhero group, no one will ever let go and I may never see the "inside" again. Probably a shame. (04/21/2009)

I’m not completely sure what to write. It’s definitely not a straight 5, because Moore’s content far surpasses Snyder’s form. The movie seemed to me terribly cursory at times, but still worked excellently and all the viewers got to know all they needed. I can safely say that it was a three hour ride without a dull moment. But it definitely isn’t the best comic book film. Oh and by the way: right in the middle of the finale when the plot was as its climax the projector broke down and caused an awful 5 minute intermezzo filled with hectic activity of my brain thinking about how it would end. (04/07/2009)

[Full disclosure: I’ve never read the comic books] Twenty percent of the running time comprises the events that actually happen in the film, while 80% consists of flashbacks familiarizing us with the characters, who didn’t grow on me and of whom only one – Rorschach – is well-written and acted (i.e. interesting). There is virtually no action here, but everything is wrapped up in beautiful visuals full of imaginative montages and slow motion shots with a feeling of fantasy, where nothing is impossible and where a neon blue superhero is constantly philosophizing about something very clever beyond the understanding of us Earthlings. Through the first third of Watchmen, I was filled with awe and excitement (and pleasantly surprised by the amount of sex and violence and the moral depravity of the main characters), but I was looking forward to the end of the flashbacks and the start of a proper film adventure. As there was no change in the second third, I started to feel bored and irritated. I literally suffered through the final third. Had I been the producer of this megalomaniacal political, (pseudo) philosophical, fantasy conversational, R-rated flick, I’d off myself. (02/27/2009)