2012

The guilty pleasure of the century, though actually only from the point of view of how that “realistic” catastrophe takes on enormous fantasy dimensions in Emmerich’s hands. In terms of narration and direction there’s not much to complain; the story is incredibly brisk, it exploits the potential of the epic premise in an entertaining way, putting ordinary and helpless people in the middle of a huge natural disaster, and holds itself together thanks to its traditionally wide communicativeness and the systematic work with deadlines that go from micro-events (escaping from the city, escaping on a plane from an erupting volcano) to the motivations of the main story (getting the necessary information, a map for rescue and means of transportation, boarding on time and fixing a defect that could kill everyone). It’s full of clichés and last-second escapes, but that serves to intensify the massive mark it leaves in the history of the genre, also making clear that we aren’t supposed to take it seriously. On the one hand, that’s a shame because the premise calls for an intense experience, but you can’t really complain when the result is so entertaining and original in the details. Notwithstanding its lapses in logic, I love watching 2012, such a formally mastered and self-aware over-the-top blockbuster is not something we get every year. (01/29/2019)

A lot of nice effects popped up, but the stupid story is just unforgivable. The whole world revolves around John Cusack, who drives under a falling skyscraper to escape all manner of disasters on air, land and sea by a hair’s breadth a hundred different times. Not to mention the unnatural reactions of his entire family. A long, long waste of time. A weak 2 stars. (12/22/2012)

Emmerich as a director cannot be surprised, because he is essentially monothematic. His strengths and weaknesses are intimately known to the audience, so even his latest film should be avoided by anyone expecting something more than bombastic effects and action. His conception of the end of the world can be immensely attacked and ridiculed from intellectual positions. As is traditional for him, he resigns on even the most basic logic in his storytelling, boldly using the most cliched genre schemes, unabashedly stuffing his film with all possible pop-cultural symbols from Princess Diana to Mona Lisa. The dialogues are stupid, and as is customary for him, it is heavily American patriotic, permeated with family values, the plot is predictable, and the characters are clearly readable. From the very beginning, experienced viewers can infer which characters will survive and which will be deservedly punished for their "sins." On the other hand, if one looks at his film with detachment, despite all its stupidity, it is entertaining, decently ticking along, and well cast both in terms of types and acting performances. It's definitely not a film I would have the slightest desire to revisit in the future, but as a popcorn treat, it is bearable in one viewing. Overall impression: 50%. (12/13/2009)

Five minutes of fun are always ruined by half an hour of boring and incredibly dull bollocks. Where are the days of Independence Day and Godzilla? They didn’t have such megalomaniac destruction, but their stories held together and they were fun and tense throughout. If we consider the contents, the runtime of 2012 is so excessive that by the end (or rather, the last hour) it was hard for me to refrain from doing something else and leave the film on as background noise. Maybe it’s good for the undemanding audience craving for a CGI orgy, but I’m unable to turn off my brain thoroughly enough to say the same. (12/03/2009)

For the first two hours, I figured I wouldn't give it full stars just because the American president Roger Murtaugh didn't declare "I’m too old for this shit!" at the sight of a rolling wave. During the third hour, I wondered why Emmerich had to add a bonus to his "best-of" that would make it hard for me to give it three stars. Yet my happy feelings prevailed. Together with Kloser, they know how to make fun of themselves, foreign policy, and genre mischief, which they’ve pulled off countless times before. Although the ending (the most boring thing this "most American German" ever made) will stay with me for a long time, the over-the-top special effects orgy, fine actors, and actually the whole overblown atmosphere will keep it at four stars. However, a second watch on DVD doesn't add to that. (11/18/2009)