Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

I really didn't expect such a bad outcome. An incredibly clichéd film where nothing really works. The action is dull and unremarkable, the actors are average, the editing is boring and meaningless, the plot is the overused cliché of “we form a team – sail towards the goal – we win or lose”. I don't even have to mention how these PG13 pirates look. The only thing worth watching is Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz. Now, asking 50 million for the main role also requires balls of iron. Rob Marshall is not a director for adventurous action films. Pirates # 4 is a huge piece of shit, and it's also overpriced and unnecessary. A purely money-driven film without a drop of love for the craft. (06/04/2011)

Almost a week since the screening, I'm downgrading it to two stars. A two-hour recycling of ideas is how I would describe the fourth Pirates. I love the first Pirates movie, I love the second one, and I admire the third one for being SO huge and full of all the amazing things to look at (besides the pathos) ... But what to make of the latest sequel? My biggest regret is that there's almost nothing in the film that I haven't seen in the previous ones. Sparrow's escape in London is reminiscent of the Curse of the Black Pearl, and we’ve also already seen the sword-fight between the "two Jacks", Captain Blackbeard's ship with its "zombified" crew seems belong to Davy Jones' ship, "the race" to get certain artifacts is also too similar to the unwinnable battle for Jones's heart from Dead Man's Chest, the (funny) escape with palm trees reminded me of the escape from the island of man-eaters... And I could go on. The major problem is simply the unimaginative, unfunny script. It also offers a bland storyline with a young priest (of course he has to be sexy), a bland Penelope Cruz and completely useless cameos by Keith Richards or Judi Dench, and it is full of stupidities (balancing on a shipwreck) and is unbelievably boring during the passage on Blackbeard's ship. Verbinski's idea-packed direction is just noticeably absent here. The film is saved by the actors (the scenes with Johnny Depp, Kevin McNally and Geoffrey Rush are the best of all, and it's a pity there are so few of them; Ian McShane is also good), Zimmer's fresh-sounding music, the really great scene with the mermaids and the breaking off of the stalactite tip... But there is not much else to write home about. I would say that this one will be more enjoyed by people who haven't had the pleasure of seeing the previous films. I didn't have much fun, and that's a shame. (05/18/2011)

This time the Pirates played the same trumps as once upon a time in part one, i.e. on the purely adventurous tone of the quest for treasure, instead of attempts at mythology or epicness. And it darn worked, even though it’s not so great. To hit the jackpot they needed someone in the director’s chair who can handle dynamic action and comedy timing and who knows how to present everything he has at his disposal. No blockbuster, but no disappointment; just perhaps the absence of chemistry (with one exception) between Depp and Penelope. (05/19/2011)

It's as if someone has fixed your once-upon-a-time favorite theme park attraction for the fourth time. You’ll be entertained by old friends, at times you will be delighted by new ones, your eye will get tired of the effects, your ear will endure the moments when someone speaks and somehow you will partly laugh through it, and partly suffer through it to the end. The most significant feeling it will leave in you after you get out is that you were quite bored. PS: Half a day after watching it, all I remember is the raucous music, the perpetually drunk Depp, and Penelope’s cleavage. An elegant quarter-billion-dollar experience. (09/20/2011)

Yes, after a noticeably over-the-top second film (and I didn’t have the strength see the third film), it's a fairly brisk and honest piece of adventure. Unfortunately, it's hard to shake the impression that rather than an action movie, Marshall made a little girlish historical fetish that made teeth disappear for all the ruffles and a nice design. When a movie pushes them out in a mermaid hunt scene, it's a very sympathetic dark fairy tale. Otherwise, it's more like a hanger for pretty scenery, sympathetic actors and ultra-stupid dialogues that even Depp's clown grins won't save. The more serious the film tries to be in places, the less the whiff of an old pirate farce fits into it (especially the opening London scene is rough). When I add it all up - nice costumes, eye pleasing design, an ever-more edible Penélope, a very edible mermaid and, on the other hand, a poor script, hackneyed choreography and a bunch of useless scenes. No, the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean cannot offend, but is unfortunately also cannot excite. (05/16/2011)