Battleship

Totally unnecessary (and they should all apologize to Cowboys & Aliens). I don't think we've ever been invaded by bigger alien idiots in film history, because I didn't shake my head as much during those as I did during this film, not even during the recent Battle Los Angeles. From my perspective, Battleship is not a film that pokes fun at the style of Michael Bay (and others), it's not even stupid enough to be funny, it's just another silly spectacle that doesn't even deserve ILM's top special effects (for which I give it a star). I had to wait an hour and a half for the only sympathetically over-the-top scene (yes, the veterans boarding and the Missouri setting sail really had something going for it), and the wait wasn't great. So a star and a half.__P.S. The completely unsympathetic actors are dominated by the singer Rihanna, whom I don't know, but she gives me the impression that the casting discovered her somewhere in a tree and persuaded her to participate in the filming with a basket full of bananas.__P.P.S. My previous comment of course does not apply to Liam Neeson. (09/09/2012)

It would be good to say upfront that Peter Berg was to a considerable degree inspired by the master of the genre, Michael Bay, at least when it comes to visual aesthetics and style. As some have rightly pointed out, Michael works much better with the sunsets. But let's go in order. The acting is average, sometimes even dumb. Neither the funny scenes nor the moments of returning to life (the marine without legs) work, the funny lines are nothing special, and the only truly engaging dialogues are led by Liam Neeson and Taylor Kitsch in those few minutes (Kitsch, who suddenly appears out of nowhere in two big projects, is quite unremarkable as an actor). Brooklyn Decker looks really nice, but not really in her acting. The script is boring. It’s hard to come up with something, but the simple mythology and visual portrayal of the invaders irritated me and test the audience's intelligence quite assertively. Just like some “over the top” scenes with the USS Missouri that made me want to laugh. At least the constant eye candy action is enjoyable. As soon as something starts happening, it ends with the final credits. A few beautiful scenes of destruction of ships and planes, effective camera raids, and a nearly identical shipwreck staged above Hong Kong as the asteroid fall over New York years ago in Armageddon. Visual effects with a gap of about 15 years? (something to think about). Yes, sunny shots, very clear, technically almost flawless except for a few details. However, it is tremendously stupid. There is not enough romance, not enough catharsis or emotional lines. Bay is a charmer who knows how to mix everything together beautifully, Berg only knows action. (04/21/2012)

If you want to see a WWII ship drift across the waves of the Pacific... I think you should go for it. It may be pretty to look at, but that's about it. The story is weak, it pushes patriotism quite a bit; it has it all – flags, the sun in the background, military pride, veterans, invalids... Just a great American movie about a military setting. There's some fighting, some friendship, some loss, some explosions. Yeah, and there are aliens, but nobody really knows what they want. I guess, like, to mine the Earth or something? Nobody knows. (06/10/2019)

Okay, the Americans have proved again that they’re the only ones who can protect the safety of everyone else around them. The reason why I watched this is that I’m interested in WW2 technology, and I wanted to see how USS Missouri would be incorporated into a film about an alien attack. My brain is still bleeding. The indestructible destroyers are destroyed and luckily only the expendable Japanese and the main hero’s brother and his crew get hurt, so the hero has reason enough to get pissed off. Throw in a battleship with a crew of veterans, conveniently aided on land by a brave legless veteran, and there won’t be a dry patriotic eye in the house. I would have loved to see the look on the face of a naval engineer seeing an anchor used as a handbrake. Disgusting! I would give this a boo rating, but I got to see the Missouri, so here goes one star. (06/20/2016)

A celebration of the U.S. Navy, a tribute to its veterans, and ego-stroking of the stars and stripes that they are still the best. But it's also a genre in reverse, with Berg also making fun of it. He loads the cannons to the sound of AC/DC and lets the old guys mentor the digital-obsessed youth about how the analog days were a blast. So far, so good. But it's 130 minutes long and all the shenanigans, when it really starts to get fun, only start happening in the second half. Until then, it’s pure misery and the essence of what the film later makes fun of at the end. I wouldn't survive watching it a second time. 3 ½. (08/06/2012)