Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

The Norwegian rookie isn't afraid of big production. Throw in some good looking actors, a few gore shots and camera finesse like the thrice as expensive and much more bloated Van Helsing and off we go. 90 minutes of non-stop fun and entertainment, or Hansel and Gretel for adults and lovers of an alternative approach to the classics. Sure, it's bullshit, but the signature and commitment of the creators is very likeable. (01/28/2017)

A kickass R-rated movie based on the fairytales of the Brothers Grimm. Wirkola, who last directed the undead army of the Wehrmacht in Dead Snow is in his element. Witch blood by the gallon, kids dying (a lot) and the “friendly" troll squashes heads like flies. Hansel Renner is a nice guy as always, just that they gave the poor guy diabetes and Gretel Arterton looks great. And they really like beating up on people with the audience in the theater egging them on. The head witch, Famke Janssen is also a fox. And the weapons mmm... every kid’s dream. Blessing a Gatling gun? Hell yeah! Mainly, don’t go into the gingerbread house. (03/02/2013)

Not convincing Gemma Arterton to show her tits is utterly petty of Wirkola and foreshadows other ills. Thought the direction, like Dead Snow, is total anarchy (meant as a positive) that doesn't particularly worry about time, space, sequence, or characters, Hansel and Gretel often fails in its guilty pleasure potential. That is to say, the main sibling duo don't sleep together, though it seems headed that way several times, no children die, and the violence doesn't cross a certain threshold. On the other hand, the unbelievably long and retarded monologues of the main witch, who still has all of her members even two minutes after she opens her mouth, which is grossly inconsistent with the characters' approach to anything else, are outrageous. The action scenes are somewhat reminiscent of a video game in their conception (the witch running away from Renner and throwing various adversities in his path that he must overcome; the girl at the stationary machine gun trying to mow down all the witches in front of her, who come flying in from different directions) which I have no problem with, but overall I'm sorry that a scene like the one with the Gingerbread Man in The Brothers Grimm was more WTF than this entire movie. (03/06/2013)

It's likeable bollocks that moves at a giant pace, doesn't take itself seriously and indulges the male audience with an attraction named Gemma Arterton, but on the other hand it doesn't have a shred of atmosphere and fails to evoke the slightest concern for the characters. The formal execution itself is interesting (especially in relation to the nature of the story of Hansel and Gretel), but it's not so good when it comes to the details and action scenes. One time and that’s enough. (05/27/2013)

Whenever I hear the names Hansel and Gretel, I immediately think of two kids with a penchant for unconventional architecture. This time, the title hinted at something bigger, and it delivered. Instead of the future sponsors of dentistry, we got a story about serial killers targeting lonely elderly women. But they weren't using methods from the times of the Brothers Grimm; no, they had an arsenal that even John Rambo or the Terminator wouldn't shy away from. For me, it was a funny, action-packed movie that charmingly juggled with human anatomy and didn't pretend to be anything else. It simply entertained viewers on the same wavelength. Clearly, I was on that wavelength for the second time, so I had a blast. Plus, I had an aesthetic experience courtesy of Gemma Arterton. / Lesson learned: If you're a witch hunter, real life might not be a walk in the park. 4*+ (02/20/2022)