Red Riding Hood

Yes, sometimes I have slightly masochistic tendencies and wander into cinematic realms that are as close to my heart as Shakespeare is to Steven Seagal. It was a little less stupid than the genre-related Twilight, but that was only because of the colourful production design, something that could be described as "plot", and Gary Oldman's character, who probably needed to pay the rent for the year ahead. On a side note, I still don't understand Leonardo DiCaprio's name in the "producer" column. (07/27/2011)

Apparently, European classics are not good enough for those raised on Disney shows, which is why they have chosen to bend European culture to their image. One of the dark fairy tales by the brothers Grimm was turned into an emo film that will make American prepubescent girls and housewives want to touch their naughty bits. What I found funny was the blatant critique of denunciation, obscurantism, and the presumption of guilt. It’s precisely these three issues that are integral to the genetic makeup of every true American patriot and are now exported worldwide with great success. The film was really dull, and both of the two suitors of the big-eyed protagonist were as wooden as an old sea wolf's prosthesis, but I wanted to be nice and give a one-star rating after all, but the botched ending made me change my mind. / Lesson learned: An asshole in times of need is an asshole indeed. (09/04/2022)