Tekken: Blood Vengeance

This was even worse than the 2010 film, and the makers promised how this movie would make up for their mistakes in 2010. Well, they didn’t. A complete waste of the time and money put into this film. The animation was only nice on objects, the people looked like The Sims. And at the end it had to turn into Bionicle. Jesus, why? It's a hodgepodge of the highest order. It's basically about a woman fighting another woman so that the other woman hires a girl so that the girl befriends the other girl and together they can spy on an immortal guy who dies anyway, and all the while you have no idea who’s beating whom. Then there's a family reunion where the guinea pigs turn into monsters from the Underworld and by then you're whistling and saying why on earth did I spend all that time on this! And at Blu-ray quality? It's awfully lame. I wasn't into the fighting either, it was like you're playing a video game and there's some video at the beginning where the characters are shown fighting before you get to play them. It's disappointing. (01/18/2012)

"Until the new Mortal Kombat comes out, I am going to have to make do with the old Tekken." Yes, it is not the first time I have used that phrase in my life, and it marks how I roughly rate both of those franchises in my imaginary popularity rankings. It also shows you how much I know about their characters and stories. However, I should probably clarify something here - I have played every Mortal Kombat video game, if I am not mistaken (at least the multiplayer ones) so I know almost all of the specific details about it, like what is going on in it and who is who and what is what. I have even seen three movies and one TV show (three live-action and one animated) in the Mortal Kombat franchise. Tekken was always in second place, Street Fighter was in third place. I have only played two of the video games (parts five and seven), I probably only know the skeleton of the plot at the very best and could maybe name about six of the characters I have played so far. Anyway, if I did not know anything about the world of Tekken, then this cinematic adaptation of the video game series would just strike me as a completely bullshit movie with a moronic narrative, really weird dialogue, and idiotic plot twists. At least some of the 3D graphics are good, and of course, it has some pretty sexy characters, and I think the best is Nina in her leather suit during the first ten minutes or so... Fortunately, by knowing the skeleton of the plot, and therefore something about the "Devil Gene", I was able to understand even the bonkers ending. So the bullshit ending did end up making sense to me, give or take, and by having played as three of the characters in the game in the past, I was sometimes able to spot a special move! So if you are not familiar with the Tekken video game series, then it is going to be just a big mess (what the hell did I just witness?), and if you do know it, then it is still going to be (mostly due to the confusing storyline and quality of the dialogue), a meh experience at most, which is what I felt. However, if you are a Tekken fanboy, then there is absolutely no point in reading what Jeoffrey has to say about it. It is Tekken and it is actually pretty close to the video game series itself... I am only awarding this 5/10. (04/19/2021)