Escape Plan

B-movie; straightforward and entertaining, originally conceived and refreshed by two veteran icons who in their old age have become even more deeply aware of their role in a colossal movie marathon. But a B-movie nonetheless, predictable, with a stale, truncated and unsurprising plot (starting with the escape plan and ending with Arnie's final "asshole"), and it's more appropriate in this case than elsewhere to play the critic and point out that playing for fun is different from actually being fun. The biggest impression is left by the unpleasantly slimy James Caviezel, who perhaps has never been so good. 65% (01/09/2014)

"Say cheese!" I wanted to see these two gentlemen in a movie. But in a good movie, which Escape Plan unfortunately is not. Someone else playing the central duo would have been even worse, and by a lot. Stallone and Schwarzenegger get all the plus points - their friendship and the fun they had acting here is so obvious that one can't help but be pleased. Moreover, when they poke each other irresistibly now and then (with words and fists). But the rest of it... I know that it was not supposed to be a profound experience, but still, in the place where common sense resides, one's head is full of questions like "Damn, such a super-modern prison, with such old-fashioned solitary confinement cells, with a shaft and a ladder underneath?!?!?!" and "Were all those guards really that stupid that they allowed... and that they didn't notice that... and that they didn't care how..." etc. All of this brought the film down terribly and hurt it especially in the sense that when the finale (finally) broke out, I didn't have any concern whatsoever about any of the characters. I just stared blankly, chuckling now and then, waiting for some big moment (yes, Arnold and the machine gun). And then it was over and I went home from the movie theatre. At the same time, I was thinking that I probably should have watched Stallone's Lock Up, which Escape Plan is not nearly as good as. That’s too bad. Escape Plan shouldn't have pretended to try to be anything - that way it would have worked out better. (10/22/2013)

The script is just stupid enough. I'm simply fascinated by the studio's policy of bringing these over-serving tandems on set under the baton of directorial routinists who operate with the given material more than casually and can only make it work in a few catchy lines and, regarding this film, a unique religious Germanic outburst. Otherwise, it’s essentially a very sterile and fleeting spectacle. (08/15/2014)

A surprisingly out-of-breath Prison Break that even the usually reliable Mikael Håfström had no chance of saving. Apart from an original introduction, well-aimed jokes, and a few minutes of Arnold Schwarzenegger's five minutes of glory in the finale, the plot, twists, and actual escape only work with the viewer's well wishes and goodwill for the nostalgic mood. It is completely saved from an average rating by the fact that I was genuinely looking forward to the main duo – the unlimited Expendables limit – and Sylvester Stallone's bass voice, capable of pleasantly looking down on everything with the slightest hint of irony. From my initial smile, however, only a small cramp remains. (08/12/2014)

Damn, I know that this film has its flaws, like characters that are essentially unnecessary and a plot that doesn't significantly impact anything. Or how it plays on the cliché that action heroes played by action stars simply don't die. But still, this is a fantastic idea that was well executed. There isn't as much humor as you would expect, but the ending is quite light-hearted. Additionally, you don't often see or hear Arnold speaking in his native German. Entertaining, although quite lengthy, great main roles. It's evident that Sly and Arnold really enjoy playing together, and they are doing it immensely well. I look forward to their future collaboration. (10/27/2013)