Pain & Gain

I was really looking forward to watching Pain & Gain. Bay made it out of pure love for cinematography. To be able to make this, he signed up for making the fourth Transformers, and he put the Rock and Mark Wahlberg into it. I really like these two, so one beautiful sunny day I decided to go to the cinema, expecting to enjoy nice actors, great action, fun and amusement. And that’s not quite what I got, and I must admit that I keep mulling this over. The actors are not the problem. Mark Wahlberg is as hunky as probably never before, while the Rock is playing what is probably the most distinctive role of his career. The problem lies in the story. There is no one to root for. Everybody in this movie is a bastard. Moreover, this film is full of absolutely brutal dark humor. That wouldn’t be that bad, because I like this type of humor and usually have no problems with it. The problem comes when it begins to brutally cross the line. The line is crossed by the spectacular action, shot with a very decent, even though sometimes rather shaky camera, but also by the humor, which I couldn’t even get in the end. (08/15/2013)

In the context of sweat and blood, there is often talk of black humor and crazy fun. But I didn't notice anything like that, and please, I like black humor, and I was quite curious to see how Michael Bay would make a story about people who empowered everything but their brains, a story made for the Coen brothers. He filmed it well, it has his style and flair, but I didn't like a single character in it, the humor was still one-note, the only bright spot of the more than two-hour spectacle was Ed Harris who didn't get much space... I just felt quite out of place when something was happening on the screen that I was supposed to be laughing at, but I wasn't. Michael Bay's worst movie. (08/09/2015)

If you take an hour of untethered action from Bad Boys II and replace it with an even larger portion of infantile entertainment aimed at gut reaction, so typical of Bay, this time presented as “nerds overflowing with clever plans". And although I would prefer to see this story in the hands of the Coen brothers, I can’t deny that in his own guilty pleasure way, Bay shows that he can also be, although not actually funny, at least entertaining. And this is in spite of its length and Marky Mark’s return to Calvin Klein underpants. (08/08/2013)

Very likely the worst Michael Bay. A film that has an amazing soundtrack, likeable Wahlberg and Johnson and great actors (Wahlberg/Johnson and Harris, respectively), over-the-top visuals, and a crazy story that can't be taken seriously and thankfully doesn't take itself too seriously either. But at the same time, it’s a routine and tedious ride without a shred of creative innovation and Bay's previous passion, filmed apparently just to kill time before the next Transformers and to cement the collaboration between director and lead actor. I finished it okay, but I wouldn’t want to see it a second time for anything in the world. 60% (03/19/2014)

A similarly absurd spectacle to the Coen brothers' legendary Fargo. It's so bizarre, cynical and aptly ironic, so politically incorrect, so dehumanisingly testoste-packed, that in a perverse sort of way it's impossible not to like it. Moreover, it brutally kicks the ass of the notorious idea of the American dream of a land of unlimited possibilities, where everything can be achieved with diligence and ambition. The tragicomic figures with a dumbbell and a dollar sign for a brain, accurately portrayed by Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson, were a delight to watch. I’ve never been and I am not a fan of Michael Bay, he’s never known, and still doesn't know, moderation in his films, but here he actually turned this unfortunate trait into something unexpected: his best film. (08/10/2013)