Conan the Destroyer

The second film on the Conan franchise is not even close to its predecessor. Even Basil Poledouris did a dodgy job. (06/02/2002)

An unworthy successor to Conan's first cinematic adventure. Arnie is still okay, but the stupid script, bad action, infantilism and confused direction make Conan the Destroyer a harmless lamb that will ruin your good taste at most. ♫ OST Rating: 3/5 (01/24/2007)

Hard to believe that the second Conan was made in the same year as the first Terminator. Heroic fantasy with Arnold in the forefront is once again somewhat soulless, but unlike the first installment, the false grandiosity that I couldn't stomach has disappeared. Only a harmless forgettable B movie remains. (04/02/2006)

Since I've never really watched the whole first Conan, at least until recently, it's not surprising that I haven't seen the second one either. This one is simply a big disappointment for me, when a fairly good dark sci-fi turned into a fairy tale and not so much for adults, but rather for children. It’s very talkative, but not funny. Milius' vision was better. (10/21/2016)

Conan the Destroyer is the absolute pinnacle of stupid entertainment without a single weak spot. While Conan the Barbarian is dark and deadly serious fantasy for adults, Conan the Destroyer is a boyishly naive tween fable that doesn't take itself the least bit seriously. Forget the grim atmosphere, brutal violence and sexual orgy of the first film (not that we'd expect anything like that from a screenwriter who has written gems like My Little Pony). The second film doesn't try to convey any philosophical ideas like “what doesn't kill you makes you stronger”. Conan has already gone through a painful and traumatic transformation that has made him a stronger person. But he's also a little dumber. In his second outing, he's no longer the thoughtful warrior of the first, but a naive beefcake who rushes into battle unprepared. This time, instead of fights between experienced warriors, we see brawls reminiscent of wrestling matches, with Conan posing with his sword like a bodybuilding contest. While for the first film Arnold had to lose a few pounds of muscle to look less bodybuilder-like, for the sequel he has regained muscle mass, and he's fitter than ever before and since. Director Richard Fleischer clearly tried to sell his muscularity as much as possible, dressing him only in leather underpants while the other actors wear multiple layers of fur. Conan is helped this time by a motley crew of assorted characters. An annoying little thief who eats stolen gems to keep them from being stolen. A grumpy magician who has a face like he's constipated when he casts a spell. A lively tomboy played by singer Grace Jones, who took her role so seriously that she sent two stuntmen to the hospital in the heat of the moment. And a delightfully bratty princess with perfectly coiffed hair whose virginity is guarded by the thundering Bombaata, ironically portrayed by basketball player Wilt Chamberlain, who became famous for allegedly seducing and bedding 20,000 women. Fleischer's fantastical adventure is straightforward fun, filmed with a fresh, childlike verve. The film wastes no time with lengthy exposition or character development, but is instead filled with comically exaggerated action, pugilism with strange monsters (played by famous wrestlers) and memorably absurd magic fights. Also a source of fun are the plankish acting performances (the scene with a drunken Conan is a highlight) and the hilariously stupid dialogue that would be the envy of any sitcom. The film's B-credentials are elevated by the cinematography of the legendary Jack Cardiff, who can make even the shoddy sets look quite good, and the epic musical score by Basil Poledouris. (06/25/2016)